Sea Folk marriage

[Liandra]

I was just reading some posts at the Dragonmount message board, when I came across a topic about the 'strange rituals of the Sea Folk marriage'. Mostly, it was agreed upon that Lan must obey in public, while Nynaeve must obey in private (which seemed obvious to me, but then, I guess, over at Dragonmount they're not all as obsessed with Nynaeve as I am).

But then...

...someone said that it was hinted in the books that the Sea Folk marriage must be consumated on deck, while everyone watches! Worse, others agreed that this was the case... And if the marriage did not exactly have to be consumated, then it had to take place at least nude!

Really, the thought alone that this could be the case, is freaking me out! (Perhaps I'm just really prude - that probably is the case - but with everybody watching?! Nynaeve?! Can you even imagine it?)

What are you're thoughts about this?
Are there really any hints in the book at such a ritual? If so, could someone please tell me what/where they are?

[edit] Perhaps it was only misunderstood. This is a quote from a discussion at Wotmania:

Also worth noting, the couple is required to consumate their marriage on the first night - have sex, for those of you unfamiliar with the term.

I don't remember this was said anywhere in the books, but if it was, it is possible the people at Dragonmount misunderstood... Of course, it is still possible they had to do it on deck. It doesn't really say here that they didn't...

Light how am I ever going to get to sleep before I know?! RJ was really evil for not writhing the scene down! [/edit]

[Shandy]

Heehee, interesting topic, Liandra! With Jordan's mind, anything could be possible

But I have to agree, I think the "consumation on deck" idea is going too far. I can't really imagine either of them agreeing with that. She would be mortified o.O But since I read a fanfic about the marriage I began to think that the nude thing might be more likely.

It's really hard to distinguish where Nynaeve is blushing because of the "obey in private" order, or because of the actual rituals.

When Lan says "There were surprises for both of us" I think he is referring to the "whoever obeys in public..." rule, because I think he would be surprised that Nynaeve would have to do some obeying, and Nynaeve would be surprised that she would have to do some obeying.

But when Nynaeve says "Who would have thought they would demand such a thing, even just in private" - I don't think she's referring to the "obeying" clause here because she's saying "even" just in private... and I don't think she would be so very shocked that there is some rule about hierarchy in marriages. If that makes sense ^^;; So I think it can be so downright shameful or she wouldn't have mentioned it to Elayne.

It's tricky, we have very little evidence to go by! This is the only Jordan quote I've ever seen on the issue:
Q: Tell us about those Seafolk rituals during the wedding...
A: How old are you?
Q: Over the age of consent.
A: You're too young!

[Liandra]

Yeah, I remember that quote. It really makes you think the 'on deck'-ritual has to be true, doesn't it? Aargh! Jordan can't be that...

The 'even in private'-quote doesn't make sense, though, if one thinks it is related to the on deck ritual. But how about this: it could very well be about the whole obeying-thing, after all. I can imagine Nynaeve to be shocked about it (especially if you remember that one quote from aCoS Mashiara where she was thinking about a marriage on the Sea Folk ship and that Lan would find himself to obey her). The fact that she says 'even' in private, might be just referring to the fact that in private, there's no one to see if they really 'stick to the rules'. She may think it a silly rule, because in private there's no real point (in her point of view) in having someone obey the other.
It's still a weird way to say it, but this way at least it makes sense, if just a little bit.

I can't believe Nynaeve has told Elayne if there has been an on deck ritual... She might have, of course (because of all the hints at her being very open about some parts of her marriage life ). But then, I think, there would have certainly been a hint from Elayne in all those *excuse me* boring point of views of her during PoD, WH and CoT. And there was none. She only kept going on (when thinking/talking about Nynaeve) about the obeying rule and... !! the fact that she didn't believe Nynaeve and Lan really had a lovelife !! (Would she have thought anything of the sort, if she knew about the on deck ritual?)

When I get to my parent's house, I think I will see if there's some hint in the Guide, for I'm fairly certain there isn't any in the books. I can't imagine people just made that whole naked/do it on deck-thing up by themselves (I mean, of course, people can - and will - make up anything, but I can't believe they would bring it as if really true).

[edit] No reference in the Guide... I'm beginning to think they were just joking.

By the way, that fanfic you mentioned... Did it contain a certain scene with Nynaeve going to get some food and Lan telling her to go naked? I think I read it sometime.
Anyway, in fanfiction anything is possible. It doesn't say much about the actual story. [/edit]

[HammerOfGod]

I don't think it was sex, but I do believe that Nynaeve had to take her top off, just like at Sea, this was a Sea Folk wedding and I suppose the dress code was sea folk dress code...

You know how upset Nynaeve became when Elayne dressed her as a Sea Folk Windfinder without her top, I believe that this was a sneeky code way for RJ to show how Nynaeve had to dress for her wedding with her top off...no sex orgy on deck, I don't believe that is in the moral code of the Sea Folk.....